Media Contributions

“Therapy isn’t just having someone to talk to about your feelings — it’s so much more than that… It’s about helping you grow into a better version of yourself. One where you’re able to manage your emotions, communicate effectively, assert yourself and your boundaries, and be more patient with yourself and others.” Rebecca Phillips, MS, Licensed Professional Counselor

The silver lining of a breakup is that it creates space to find someone new with whom you might be happier. However, that’s only if you use your free time to reflect on your split. “Taking ownership of our part without blaming the other person will help us make the changes necessary to avoid repeating the same problematic pattern in our next relationship,” says Phillips.

“Many individuals in codependent relationships lose their sense of self because their identity can become wrapped up in their dysfunctional relationship dynamic… Reflecting on who you are as an individual person outside of your relationships can help you get the clarity you need to regain your sense of self.” Rebecca Phillips, MS, Licensed Professional Counselor

“For relationships to grow and develop, you need to regularly spend time together. “Quality time is essential to a relationship because it nurtures the emotional (and often physical) connection,” says Rebecca Phillips, a counselor in Frisco, Texas.”

If you don’t take time to recognize what might have gone wrong in previous relationships, you may end up repeating the same mistakes over and over again. “Take an honest look at why things haven’t worked out in the past,” says Rebecca Phillips, MS, a licensed professional counselor.

“It’s unlikely you’ll get the reassurance you seek if you’re looking outside of yourself… It’s more likely that you will get the closure and validation you may be seeking if you look within rather than looking to your ex or anyone else to give it to you.” Rebecca Phillips, MS, Licensed Professional Counselor

“People stay in these relationships if they’re subconsciously trying to recreate relationships from their past in order to heal them. This is evident in a phenomenon known as ‘repetition compulsion… For example, someone who has experienced a parent’s rejection may subconsciously try to earn love and acceptance from a partner.” Rebecca Phillips, MS, Licensed Professional Counselor

“If you’re more on the introverted side, it’s important not to compare yourself to your extroverted peers… You don’t have to go to all the parties; you can go to a coffee shop instead. The point is that you can honor your energy and make friends in a way that is comfortable to you. You’ll find that your friendships are more sustainable when you do.” Rebecca Phillips, MS, LPC

“Loss of attraction tends to develop over time when partners no longer share new or exciting experiences,” says Rebecca Phillips, a therapist in Frisco, TX. “When you’re no longer curious about your partner, you can feel stagnant and bored.”

“Not only can a qualified therapist help you address the issues that arise in your relationship due to drinking, but they can also help you develop skills to manage underlying stress and improve overall well-being.” Rebecca Phillips, MS, LPC

“If you’ve been lying awake at night wondering what the heck happened — why they bailed, if you did something wrong, if they’re OK, etc. — use this opportunity to gather more information about why they ghosted. “Listen to your intuition on the explanation,” says licensed professional counselor Rebecca Phillips, MS, LPC. “If it sounds legit, proceed with caution and boundaries.”

“People pleasing is often disguised as consistently providing kindness to everyone in your life. Rebecca Phillips, MS and licensed professional counselor, says that denying our own needs can lead to quick burn out when it comes to personal and professional relationships. “People-pleasing behavior reinforces the idea that our value is tied to what we provide rather than who we are,” Phillips tells Her Campus. She adds that pleasing people isn’t actually about the other person’s needs. It’s about your own need for acceptance.”

“If you grew up financially insecure, it’s possible to feel less than dating someone from a higher socioeconomic status. If you notice any feelings of inferiority, please challenge them…They do not belong there. We should never feel less than people who have more money.” Rebecca Phillips, MS, Licensed Professional Counselor

“Bids for connection are foundational to the emotional health of a relationship,” says Rebecca Phillips, a Gottman-trained licensed professional counselor and operator of Mend Modern Therapy. “Bids strengthen the relationship by adding value that builds over time. As the relationship gets stronger, the better you and your partner can withstand challenges that will inevitably arise in the relationship.”

“Rebecca Phillips, a licensed professional counselor, shares her thoughts on the Four Horsemen, and how you can prevent those behaviors, and show up better for your partner and yourself—and, in turn, keep your marriage intact.”

“In adulthood, friendships are more likely to develop naturally in an atmosphere, such as the workplace, which provides the necessary ingredients in friendship: proximity, similarity, and repetition,” explains Rebecca Phillips, a licensed professional counselor and operator of Mend Modern Therapy in Texas.”