7 Therapy Tips: How to Benefit the Most from It

Therapy photo by ANTONI SHKRABA from Pexels

If you’re finally taking the big leap into therapy, you’ll want to prepare to make the most out of it. Congratulations on making one of the most positive and powerful decisions of your life. Therapy is about so much more than just showing up and talking. Sure, you can just show up and talk, but if you want to maximize the return on your investment in therapy, it’s important to be proactive.

So how is one to be proactive in therapy?

Therapy can seem confusing and mysterious at first. Your therapist should help walk you through an understanding of their process and what to expect. It can be hard to know what exactly your role is in the process, but no worries. Your therapist has got your back.

To make the process more manageable, consider the following tips throughout each stage of the therapy process: before you begin, throughout your session, and after therapy.

Before You Begin Therapy

1. Do some self-reflection about your issues and needs.

The search for the best-fit therapist for your personality, issues, and needs can be overwhelming. So overwhelming, in fact, that many people report giving up the search before they’ve found someone. 

Having a clear picture of what you’re seeking therapy for will help you filter for therapists who specialize in treating issues you need help with. For example, if you struggle with anxiety, depression, trauma, and relationship issues – your best fit therapist will specialize in all of these issues. You can filter out therapists who do not treat one or more of your needs. 

Your needs may include your therapist’s availability during your lunch hour, evenings, or weekends. You may need a therapist who provides online therapy or virtual sessions. Furthermore, you may need a therapist who accepts your insurance or is an “out-of-network” provider. You may need a therapist who can see you twice a week or one who is willing to meet with you just once a month.

There are many things to consider when you’re searching for a therapist, and fortunately, there are many therapists who are willing to make themselves available to answer any questions you have. 

2. Consider the person your therapist is.

It’s perfectly acceptable to have a preference for a therapist of a certain race, culture, sex, gender, background, or belief system. You’re welcome to ask a potential therapist questions about any of these topics. You can AND SHOULD ask your therapist directly if they are LGBTQ+ affirmative and culturally inclusive. No client should ever have to wonder or worry if their therapist supports all aspects of their identity. 

It can be particularly challenging for individuals from marginalized groups to find a therapist they feel comfortable with. If your therapist has not made their acceptance of your identity clear, especially after you’ve inquired, it’s time to look elsewhere. It may be difficult to find a therapist who checks all the boxes, so consider your priorities while you search.

While In Session

Once you’ve found a therapist who’s a good fit, you’ve already completed one of the hardest and most arduous parts of the process. Now it’s time to strap in for the ride. And if your journey in therapy is like most, it will be full of twists, turns, ups, and downs. But it should get you where you need to go.

3. Come prepared, and keep a therapy log.

If you want to get the absolute most out of therapy, it’s important to come prepared. Even if you’re doing EMDR, therapy works best when it’s collaborative. Before your sessions, your therapist should be reviewing their notes about your progress. This helps to keep their mind focused on the progression of your therapeutic work. You can help your therapist help you if you also prepare for your session ahead of time. 

One way to be prepared for your sessions is to keep a log throughout the week of thoughts, feelings, questions, concerns, moods, or anything else that may arise between sessions. You can create a log in a notebook, a journal, an email, or even a password-protected notes app on your phone. 

This log will likely contain information that your therapist finds relevant material to work on in the session. The less your therapist has to pick your brain for relevant information, the more you maximize the time you have to address the issues that are important to you. 

4. Be mindful of time.

So you’re bringing a few things you want to discuss in your session. And you’re letting your therapist know at the beginning of your session that you have some talking points. Showing up on time and keeping an eye on the time (only periodically) throughout your session can help keep you on track.

The therapy “hour” is generally 45-50 minutes, so if important information is brought up near the end of the session, it will need to be addressed at the next session. While it is your therapist’s responsibility to begin and end sessions on time, just being aware of (but not stressing over) time can help you pace yourself accordingly. Your therapist may provide a reminder of the time near the end of your session if you find it helpful.

5. Ask questions and communicate openly with your therapist.

This one sounds obvious, but confrontation is quite difficult for many people. If your therapist says something you’re unsure about, you can ask for clarification. If you don’t understand something, you can say, “I’m not sure I understand.” If you disagree, you can say, “I disagree.”

And if you feel offended or insulted, it’s especially important to say something about it. It could be that you interpreted things in a negative way, or it could be that your therapist was actually being offensive. Either way, confrontation is an important aspect of healthy communication. A healthy relationship with your therapist is the top priority in your work together.

After Therapy

6. Spend time in quiet contemplation.

Most of the change that happens in therapy, happens outside of therapy. Therapists often cover a lot of ground in a single session. You’re welcome to take notes in the session. But if that’s not your thing, you could benefit from journaling afterward. Writing down thoughts, feelings, and insights that occurred in session can help reinforce what you learned. 

If you dislike writing, you can take a walk and spend time with your thoughts. 

You can significantly maximize the impact of therapy by giving yourself room to digest the content you just covered before moving on to the next thing. Let those new insights sink in. Keep the momentum going outside of the session.

7. Do the work.

This is where things can really change for you.

But for that change to happen, you’ll need to put in the work. Your therapist is there to help guide you along the way, but they cannot do the work for you.

Your therapist may assign “homework.” Therapy homework can include journaling, logging, challenging thoughts, behavior modification, practicing strategies, reflection exercises, and so on. Following through with “the work” will help you get the most out of therapy. 

Research shows that therapy patients who do more therapeutic homework benefit more than patients who do not do the work.

Just remember that the work is a process. It’s highly unlikely that doing something once will be effective. For effective change, it’s important we follow through and remain consistent in our work. It’s also important to remember that progress is usually not linear. There will be setbacks, but your therapist can help you stay the course until you see change.